Prague.. Why has no one christened you in verse yet?

Maybe because you don't rhyme with anything... Prague is the "orange" of world capitals. Ask a poet as to why that's the funniest pun you'll read all day.

... Well we arrived in Prague for three days, left after five and probably would still be there if i had my way! It was a freaking strange place, a little bit backward during the day, not backward in coming forward at night and if you looked at it sideways, it kind of streamed back in time (except for the millions of tourists everywhere.).

Infact ... as a side (this has nothing to do with Prague) I am just going to get some stuff off my chest... Tourists... Wankers... The Lot of Them... Constantly in my way, always at the places I want to go, I have spent more time lining up because of tourists than doing any touring. If i had my way, the tourists in every town I want to go to would be shipped on before I arrive and returned once I have left. Is it too much to ask? Am i on my own here? I am sure we have all thought it. Infact I bet you're sitting there thinking 'well maybe I should get in on this as well'. Well you can be, it just means there'll be a complicated system of rankings to see who gets to go to a town at any particular time. I mean its like the celberity system, Ben Affleck can't get the presidential sweet if Brad and Angelina are there. He just isn't high enough on the list, but if Ricky Gervais was there and Ben wanted it, Ricky would be on his arse quicker than you can say.. well you probably wouldn't have time to say anything.

That segue was for anyone that used to sit through my match reports wanting some info on the game and getting ten minutes of shit....

Back to Prague. The backpackers was rubbish, it was a University dorm room, with beds on seperate sides of the room (we haven't been travelling for that long to need seperate beds although I am sure that time will come) and a kitchen with no utensils, so any ideas of cooking were completely thrown out. That's not entirely a problem for me and my ever increasing waistline, but having the choice taken away just added to the pain of an already rubbish location.

Prague itself though, has some cool architecture, heaps of museums, lots of history (did i miss Australia's baroque period or our Gothic one...... oh thats right we don't have this kind of shit at home), funky statues and crazy night life ... it doesn't seem to sleep.

So Al, what are you going to tell me about? Your favourite buildings or statues? Or are you going to waste my time talking about that fabulous Calzone you had? Well if i am to answer honestly I was going to write about the calzone i had but i had a better one more recently and that is getting an entire blog dedicated to it. So i am going to give you some weird stuff that i learnt while i was here....

Fun Fact One - In Prague there is a massive massive massive 6 lane highway that cuts through the main city square right past the National Museum. Ugly as shit. Cuts through the town at the bottom of the hill on massive pylons. Seriously ugly and you can't hide it. Well i think you get the picture (and if you don't check the Prague pics for an idea) it was built by the communist party when they were in power so in case of a civil uprising in the centre of town they could get all the tanks from the army base outside of town to the centre of town quickly.. The irony, they built it for that purpose and never used it until the tanks went home...

What Al neglects to tell you is that he got us lost, and we had to climb

up the side of a hill to get back onto this gianormous thing!

Fun Fact Two - The main museum looks like a parliament building, it's in the centre of the city and has all these white dots on it. Those white dots were from the Soviets taking pot shots at what they thought was "parliament". Turns out they hadn't exactly done their research although it does look like a parliament house.

Fun Fact Three - There's a statue on the Charles Bridge. You touch it for luck. There used to be a cross (19th century it washed away) so students just started touching the statue as they walked past. So the tourists copied. Now it's a tradition that means nothing .... Kind of like Christmas or Easter.

Fun Fact Four - St Wenceslas (think of the Christmas carol) is the national Saint. Officially a hero, represented on a horse and was stabbed in the back by his brother so that his brother could be King (not an entirley unbeleivable story). Some people don't beleive this story though and instead believe that he was killed because he wouldn't fight in a war (also believable). So there are two massive staues one of "the great King/Saint on his horse ready for war". The other is a "The king sitting on an upturned horse not going to war and looking quite stupid". I like the second one, nothing like a healthy dose of public cynicism.

Fun Fact Five - They built a massive, massive, massive statue of Stalin when he died. 30 meters from ground to tip with massive communist figures behind him all thirty meters tall. It took 4 years to build. Stood on top of the hill looking over town. Then Khrushchev (the next guy in power) slammed Stalin as a killer and said he shouldn't be idolised. So they had to blow the whole thing up within a year or two. They even erased it from the background of town photos. This was before photo shopping....

Fun Fact Six- They have some creepy and cool museums. The museum of torture, the museum of Sex Toys (seriously) and a museum of communism (ironically above the biggest McDonalds in Prague). I loved the communist museum, it was the place i learnt the most from..

So there you have Prague. A strange little place full of funny little stories and friendly people that love telling you weird stories. But thats what makes places great, the little things, the quirkiness. Ohhh did i mention the beef goulash with dumplings.. That was delicous too...