Rule Britannia

Last time we made it to London we managed to spend four days here, see Buckingham palace, complain about the weather and leave. This time I hoped things would go a little better, maybe we would see a little bit more. Do some touristy stuff, I don't really need to ingratiate myself into English culture, I did that last time (i.e. I complained about the weather and got drunk!!). Just touristy stuff was our plan. At some point in our life Melissah and I will work out that there is little point in us planning for anything! We managed to fit in some touristy stuff, saw London Bridge 3, saw Camden Markets and the Tate Britain (the list of stuff we didn't do is still longer) with Matt and Gem. Gem and Melissah did go see a musical (thankfully Gem was in town and I dodged a Wicked (Wizard of Oz Prequel) shaped bullet) but mainly we hung out amongst one of London's ethnic minorities, Australian's on working Visa's. To be quite honest it was probably more fun than going to the Tower of London or British museum but it wasn't part of the original plan. Typical of our luck we managed to be in London on the weekend when England knocked Australia out of the Rugby World Cup. Ouch. The worst part was you couldn't pretend to be a Kiwi either (it's easy you say fush instead fish) because they got beaten aswell. Although as a side note I noticed in the French side, Sebastien Chabal had joined the Allan Broadbent Appreciation Society and was wearing his long hair and beard with pride. His willingness to take my look to the world stage meant I had to take a few steps back on my critiscims of France and enjoy a little admiration for the man.

So when we left London on the Monday it was all smiles from me as we were headed to Cardiff. Now I know everyone out there thinks I exude cool, if you need your beer cooled quickly stand near me, I'm that cool. It's time to let you in on a little secret, I was excited to be heading to Cardiff not to see a little country side or for the Millennium stadium, I was excited because Dr Who and Torchwood are filmed in Cardiff. Now that I have said that I need you to stop and think back to that one cool thing I have done that you were there for. Thinking time begins now.... Did you find that memory? You still think I'm cool. So while Melissah worked, I got to get up every morning/early afternoon and strolled around Cardiff saying I remember that and that and that. Then you ask locals what they think and most of them couldn't care less. I spoke to one guy though and he reckons he's been in the background twice changing street lights. A massive claim to fame I would have thought. That's about all I really did in Cardiff. Melissah worked, I went all nerd and then we went to Belfast.

Cardiff - Capital of the "Who"niverse

When Melissah finally finished working (it was only three days or so but still!) we got back into backpacker mode. First off we left our comfortable bed and room service at the Holiday Inn and moved back into a room at a backpackers, then instead of going out for a meal at a restaurant where people come and serve you, we cooked a cheap tomato pasta. I didn't remember back packing being so difficult. You have 10 days off and it becomes the hardest thing in the world. So Belfast, what a mean history this place has. Seriously the centre of the city is perfect, nothing feels untoward at all. In fact you go anywhere in the city centre and you could be in any other European city. Step into the suburbs and things tell a different story. Everything here is so close to the surface I don't honestly think you could call it history yet. There are murials for Protestants who killed Catholics and Catholics who killed Protestants yet the more you see the less these religions have much to do with it. They say they are on the way to peace but I can't see there being a lasting peace when the kerbs on one side of the road are painted blue, red and white and on the other they are orange, green and white. It's like the bloods and the crips. Territories have been marked. A 15 metre high wall separating the two sides doesn't help even if you call it a "peace wall". A wall's a wall. They never work, look at Berlin or what about Palestine and Israel. It's not going to work for long. We went to Derry. That was a bit different to Belfast. That was the site of Bloody Sunday. Who knew U2 wrote about an actual event. They actually like U2 here by the way. I would have thought they would have tired of them a while back but it turns out they haven't. Anyway back on track. Derry just feels different. In Belfast, it seemed a bit tit for tat, the way it's remembered is a bit finger pointing and he said she said. In Derry though there's no blame assigned to anyone (well not that I saw, and I had my eyes open for it!), they have chosen to remember it as civil rights struggle. So it was a little bit more about how the whole thing began rather than the whole tit for tat thing that Belfast was. It was a pretty tough day though. We spoke to an Irish lady there who was there on the Sunday and she took us to the point where she was and told us the shit she saw go down. But that's her story and it's not mine to tell; so if you ever go let me know and I'll tell you how to find her and hear it for yourself!

Northern Ireland, Deep Place if you can understand a word they're saying

We hired a car while we were in Ireland and drove down to Dublin via everywhere else on the way. We hummed and ahhed about getting "no excess" put on the car in the end we decided to add for the extra 15 pounds it was worth as on the last day there was "an incident"! So we went to Galway looking for Fitzgerald memorabilia. Unfortunately we found that we were looking in the wrong place according to all the literature we found the FitzGerald name is originally French and that pleased Melissah like you wouldn't believe. We eventually found one tiny piece of paper that said FitzGerald was German not French so she bought that one. It doesn't matter though because I know the truth. Then we spent a whole day taking photos of shops with FitzGerald on the door. I don't know if anyone has heard of this but go with me, during the National Socialist rule of Germany a forest worker outside of Berlin was planting a forest and in the midst of it using a different tree (the leaves go brown much earlier than the rest of the forest) he planted a giant swastika. So now day's during Autumn you can see this massive swastika from the air. (They have tried to remove but it grows back apparently) Well anyway the only other highlight from Galway was that someone had used the same theory but instead of an evil swastika it was massive Celtic rings. Following Galway we travelled down to Cork and by extension Blarney Castle. It was at this point we remembered we aren't really tourists. Well not at this point, when we reached the top of Blarney Castle and had to lean backwards over the edge kiss a stone that the locals apparently piss on at night, then they take the photo and sell it back to you for €10. Sorry buddy. It's not happening here. We left, shaking our head and working out what idiots pay the money for the photo. My theory, the same idiots that pose holding up the "Leaning Tower of Pisa".

So onwards to Dublin, hoping to put as much distance between us and the fools that pay that kind of money for a photo. So we went to Dublin to walk the streets of Temple Bar and hit the Guiness Factory. Of the two, the Guiness factory was my favourite. You walk around this huge part of the old factory, learn how the process goes and then when you get to the very top you get a pint of Guiness to enjoy while you look out over Dublin. Have to say it is worth doing. The most surprising part was that I was looking forward to my pint and then drinking Melissah's but due to it's freshness and lightness and smoother taste at the factory, Melissah was selfish and drank hers all on her own. I was left with just one drink. An Australian guy up there was befriending anyone who didn't like their beer and was taking it off them. He wasn't that drunk when we left but he was going to be! I'm pretty sure that's how we get our bad name/good name. The BEST part of Dublin though was the deal we got on car parking. We left a car in a U Park type place for two or three nights and only paid €26. What a steal. It's an insight into what is thrilling us at the moment when a savings of €50 makes the highlights. When you watch your back account drain away before your very eyes any small monetary victory is worth a lap of honour.

The Republic of Ireland, a whole week making people say "Ahh Potatoes"

 

In Belfast we returned a slightly damaged rental car, Melissah is insisting it was me but I think the car was a little starved of attention and decided to hurt itself to get our attention. Anyway we returned it and I hope it's gone off to get the attention we couldn't give it. We then flew back to the UK, merely to get on a flight to Turkey. When we arrived we jumped in a cab and asked to be taken to London Road in Luton. Simple task, it's a major road. Our crafty taxi driver decided that by London Road we meant London and proceeded to the highway. We were on to him and his crafty ways though. Don't know what it is at the moment but people are really trying to take advantage of our good natured and relaxed ways. Good thing we are going to Turkey now, no one will take advantage of us there!